Caught in the Act
by LaylaBinx
Summary: AKA: Five Times Jensen Was Caught Doing Something Embarrassing. Humor and fluff! Kinda dark toward the end O.o I'm sorry! No slash :


**Hello all! I've been playing with idea for about a month now and finally got aorund to writing it O.o Hope its okay, it seems a bit choppy to me but I hope you all like it! :D**

**I own nothing, I'm just playing with the characters ^.-**

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OOOOO (1. Clay)

In the past eight years since he'd taken command of their little rag-tag group of Losers, Clay had gotten used to some of the more interesting quirks his teammates had. He knew Roque had more knives than any of them could count and treated them better than he probably did anything else. Pooch could hotwire a car in under a minute and have it completely stripped down and fixed/altered/re-painted in under an hour. Cougar could shoot a speck of dust from the top of the Empire State Building and never even blink. All of these quirks were useful or at least semi-useful in the field. Jensen's wasn't; well, not really.

Jensen liked to seduce his computer. The kid was a damn genius with anything that had a circuit board and could hack in and out of the most secure systems on the planet but he had a very unusual way of approaching his tasks. He liked to sweet-talk his computer, calling it endearing pet names and describing the filthy things he was about to do with it. To anyone who didn't know about this, it made for a very awkward stop by the tech's room.

"Nice and slow, baby girl…nice and slow…" He mumbled, his back turned to Clay. His shirt was off and had Clay not threatened to beat him to death with nearest heavy object, he was pretty sure the younger man's pants would be missing in action as well.

"You like that, don't you…you like it when I touch you just right…"

Clay sometimes wondered how long Jensen would go on if no one bothered him. He'd probably continue the seduction all night if given the opportunity. Even when fully engrossed in his task, Jensen couldn't sit completely still; his knee bounced on one side causing his upper body to bounce along with it. Jensen, shirtless with his back to him, body bouncing slightly and saying filthy things to his computer. Clay wished this had been the first time he'd seen this and could just chalk it up to masturbation. Unfortunately, it was a bit stranger than that.

"God, the tings I'm going to do to you…I've been thinking about this all day. I'm going to get deep inside you tonight…deeper than we've gone in while. But you're going to love every minute of it because you're a dirty girl, aren't you-"

"Ahem!" Clay cleared his throat loudly from the door and Jensen jumped about a foot out of his chair. The younger man struggled to re-adjust his glasses and turn around at the same time and Clay was silently grateful that he was, indeed, wearing pants.

"Hey boss, didn't hear you come in. Nice tie. How long have you been-"

"What are you doing?" Clay asked, his voice a mix of genuine curiosity and exasperation.

"Uh…just warming up Stephanie, boss." Jensen grinned brightly and patted the computer next to him like it was a pet. "If I'm going to crack into those files tonight, she needs some TLC before we get started."

Clay stared at him for a few minutes, debating on staying in the room and simply walking out. "Keep your pants on soldier." He said finally, turning on his heel and walking out of the room.

"Yes sir!" Jensen saluted at his back and turned back to his computer . "Sorry about that, gorgeous…now where were we?"

**OOOOO (2. Roque)**

Jensen learned pretty early on to be afraid of Roque. Well, not so much afraid but he definitely didn't want to test the other man's patience. And he believed him when he threatened him. If Roque said he was going to punch you in the face, you usually ended up with a black eye by the end of the conversation. If he said he was going to throw you out of the truck, make sure to tuck and roll the minute the door opens. If he said he was going to kill you slowly…well, Jensen didn't really like to think about that.

Jensen tried to make it a point to never be alone in the same room with Roque. He loved his teammates but Roque scared the shit out of him and without the others to run interference, he was certain he would say or do something that would get him stabbed, maimed, or worse. Like today.

He hadn't expected anyone to come back early, he thought it was going to an all day event. It was rare that he was the only on left in the house so he had taken complete advantage of the situation. With Clay gone, so went the clothes leaving him in nothing but a white button-down shirt, his underwear, and a pair of socks. He had just slid into the living room, doing his best Tom Cruise impression when the front door opened and Roque stepped in, freezing and staring at him blankly.

Jensen froze too, realizing that Roque probably had at least half a dozen knives strapped to him and Jensen had way too much skin exposed to be comfortable with that idea. He quickly plucked the headphones out of his ear, Bob Seger blaring from the tiny ear buds and looked at Roque. "Hey man, didn't think you'd be back so early." He said, laughing nervously.

Roque continued to stare at him, his expression unreadable. "Jensen." He said finally, his teeth grinding together so tightly, the younger man could almost hear it. "What the fuck-"

"Dude, sorry! I thought I was by myself so I took advantage of the empty house and-"

"I'm giving you five seconds to put on some clothes before I start cutting off things you need." The older man growled, taking a dangerous step forward. "One."

"Dude, Roque, its not a big-"

"Two."

"Gah! I'm going!" The blond darted around the corner and into his room, slamming the door and locking it. Roque stood in the doorway, smirking slightly. The tech was irritating as hell on a good day but he would never actually hurt him. Probably. But he'd never tell Jensen that; it was too much fun to see him squirm.

**OOOOO (3. Pooch)**

Pooch met Jensen's niece for the first time three years ago. They had gotten some down time after their last mission and had used it to go visit their families. Somehow they'd all ended up at Jensen's sister Emily's house by the end of it. The tech had been bustling around the house, helping fire up the BBQ pit and haul the coolers into the back yard when he'd suddenly disappeared. No one really questioned it, they just knew it had suddenly gotten much quieter. Jolene was busy talking to Emily and Clay and Roque were listening to a football game on the radio, both taking bets for the opposing team naturally. Cougar said nothing, his hat tipped low, but everyone knew he was listening to the game as well.

Pooch excused himself, disappearing into the house to find the restroom. Emily's house was large but cozy, with close hallways and a warm, homey feel to it. There were random pictures on the walls of Jensen when he was younger that Pooch was going to have to remember to blackmail him with later. He found the restroom at the end of the hall and was about to step inside when he heard something in the room next to in. He stopped, taking a side-step and looking inside.

It was a little girl's room, the walls a pale pink with brighter pink swirls mixing in like tie-die. The bed was the same color and there was a mess of stuffed animals stacked on the pillows. Jensen was sitting on the floor, his back to him and his attention fully engrossed in the little girl in front of him. She looked to be about four or five with long blond hair and big blue eyes like Jensen's. In fact, if he didn't know any better, Pooch would have mistaken the little girl to be Jensen's daughter.

"What do you think, Hannah-banana, pink glitter or purple?" Jensen asked, the girl's hand in his, her nails a florescent pink color that contrasted brightly with her skin.

"Hmmm…purple." She said finally, after a minute of deliberation.

"Purple? On top of pink? Ugh, no sense of color scheme!" Jensen waved his hands dramatically and the little girl, Hannah, giggled. He picked up a small bottle that had bright purple, glittery polish in it and pulled out the brush, painting it on her nails.

Hannah grinned, watching enraptured but suddenly noticed there was someone else in the room. She looked up quickly, her blue eyes leveling on Pooch. Jensen noticed and turned, seeing his team mate and grinning. "Hey Pooch!"

Pooch wasn't sure what to say for a minute. "Hey, J…uh…you got something on your…" He faded on, staring down at the tech in disbelief. Jensen was wearing makeup. Jensen. Was. Wearing. Makeup. Blue eye shadow and lipstick to be precise. No doubt Hannah had put it on him but still. Also, his nails were a strange purple color, almost matching the glitter he was putting on the little girl's nails.

Jensen just grinned again. "Yep, Hannah and I were playing beauty shop. But she just has no appreciation for the color spectrum. I thought I taught you better than that!" He sighed dramatically again and Hannah laughed.

Pooch nodded a bit, deciding the restroom seemed more and more inviting, and turned back into the hallway to return to his original destination. By the time he got out, Jensen had scooped Hannah up and taken her into the backyard with everyone else. If anyone noticed the makeup, they didn't say anything.

**OOOOO (4. Aisha)**

Today had been boring. No, worse than boring, it had been downright dull. They weren't scheduled to meet with their contact until the next morning so today had been nothing but waiting. Any kind of information gathering had been Jensen's job and he'd gotten done with that hours ago. So now there was really nothing to do but sit and wait. God, this sucked!

Aisha sighed, debating on whether or not to go get her guns and clean them again. She'd done it this morning, and again at noon. Now it was almost seven and she was still feeling antsy. They would probably all end up going out to a bar later but nothing opened until 10 anyway. Three more hours and still nothing to do.

Pooch and Clay were sitting in the living room watching something on the TV and Cougar was sitting next to the wall, slowly and methodically cleaning his rifle. He'd been there for the better part of an hour and Aisha was pretty sure the gun was so clean by now that someone could eat off it but she didn't say anything. She still got the occasional death glares from the Sniper for shooting Jensen and she was certain he was just looking for a reason to return the favor so she kept any comments she had to herself.

She pulled herself off the couch with a heavy sigh and trudged into the hallway, working her way back to the room she and Clay shared. They had an odd sort of truce inside and outside of the bedroom; shooting him once they got rid of Max was going to make it that much harder if she didn't stop sleeping with him. She had just passed the restroom when she heard someone singing, rather loudly and off-key, from the shower. Pausing for a second, she listened carefully.

It was definitely Jensen, she'd know that voice anywhere, and he was using the shower stall as his own personal karaoke booth. This was too good of an opportunity to pass up. Quietly, she opened the door and stepped inside, closing it softly behind her.

"_You're the saddest bunch I've ever met,_

_But you can bet before we're through,_

_Mister, I'll make a man out of you!"_

Aisha bit her lip to keep from laughing. She knew the song had been stuck in Jensen's head since watching Mulan with his niece a few days ago. He'd been humming it for the better part of three days and it was driving everyone crazy. The shower seemed like the perfect place to let it out without running the risk of being punched.

"_Tranquil as the forest, with a fire within_

_Once you find your center_

_You're sure to win!"_

Too bad Aisha still hated that song. As silently as ever, she walked over to the toilet and pushed down the lever, flushing it twice in rapid succession.

"_You're a spineless, pale, _

_Pathetic lo-aggghhhhhh!"_

Today just got a lot more interesting.

**OOOOO (5. Cougar)**

Behind all the goofy shirts and carefree attitude, it was easy to forget that Jensen could be a ruthless killer when he wanted to be. He was the comic relief of their group, the mediator and the most level-headed one other than Pooch. But Special Forces didn't take soldiers who weren't willing the put all that aside and turn into cold-blooded machines on the battlefield. And there's nothing in the world more terrifying than to see Jensen drop the smiles and gain that dead-eyed look that most assassins get right before they pull the trigger.

They had busted a child-trafficking ring right along the boarder of California, the ring leader smuggling the kids across the boarder in order to sell them for profit. There were fifteen kids total, 4-14 years old and there were being hustled across an empty parking lot when Clay had given the order. Cougar fired first, taking out the man in front and sending the kids into a frenzy. Jensen was out there a split second later, calling the kids toward him as Pooch circled back with the van. There was a shot from the ground and one of the girls let out a startled yelp and fell to the ground. Jensen and Cougar saw the man at about the same time, pistol in hand, aimed at the computer tech. The little girl had gotten in the way of the bullet. Cougar fired, catching the man in the arm but not killing him. He ran off, disappearing into a warehouse just as Jensen ran out to grab the fallen girl.

Clay and Aisha had appeared by now, guns blazing, and Cougar took the opportunity to get off the roof and make his way to the ground and toward the van. The door was slung open and the kids were huddled inside, shaking and crying. The girl was on the floor of the van, blood pooling around her back. There was nothing they could do. Pooch gave him a grim look as his eyes fell on her lifeless form and he didn't even have to question where Jensen had gone.

Cougar didn't have to give him the order to get the kids as far away as possible. The van doors slid closed and the engine revved and before another word could be said, the van was speeding out of the parking lot and off to a secure location. Cougar turned on his heel and made his way back toward the warehouse, his finger tight against the trigger of his gun. He wasn't really sure where Clay and Aisha were but it didn't matter, all he was really worried about was finding Jensen.

There was a shot from somewhere deep in the warehouse and the Sniper felt his heart skip in his chest. He broke into a run, kicking open the side door and ready to fire at any moving target. There was a strangled cry of pain as another shot echoed loudly against the metal walls; Cougar ran faster. He wasn't prepared for the sight that greeted him when he rounded the corner.

Jensen was standing above the man who had fired the fatal shot, gun in hand and leveled evenly at the shaking gunman. The other man was on his back, covered in blood, his gun halfway across the room and completely useless to him. "P-please…" The man's voice quavered and it was easy to see by the tight line that Jensen's mouth was formed into that he wasn't in a very forgiving mood. To get the point across, he fired again, catching the man in left knee and eliciting another agonized cry from the man on the ground.

Cougar watched in stunned silence, watched as the smart-mouthed tech, the goofball of their group, his best friend, fired his way through the clip in his gun, each shot carefully aimed so it caused the maximum amount of pain without being fatal. At least not yet. The man had been shot in both knees, the shoulder and the stomach. Each was enough to hurt like hell, all together? It had to be brutal.

"How many times did those kids say 'please'?" Jensen growled, his voice taking on a dark, hallow tone that Cougar had never heard before. It was chilling and it didn't belong coming out of his mouth. "How many times did they beg to be taken home? To be taken back to their families?" He aimed again, preparing to fire again, and Cougar stepped forward, catching his wrist and holding on tightly.

"Jensen." He said softly, keeping his grip on the younger man's wrist firm. "Stop…we're not like them."

The tech was glaring at the man on the ground with so much hatred it was a wonder he didn't burst into flames on the spot. "He shot a little girl Cougar." The words came out like razor-blades laced with acid. "He deserves to die!" It was only then that Cougar noticed Jensen's shirt was soaked in blood. For a horrifying second, he thought one of the gunman's bullets had hit him but he realized with sickening certainty that the blood wasn't his but the little girl's.

"I know." Cougar would try to deny it, the man deserved every ounce of this. But it shouldn't be coming from Jensen. Him, yes. Clay or Aisha, definitely. But not Jensen. Never Jensen. "Give me the gun, amigo…he won't hurt anyone again. I promise…"

There was a tense minute where Jensen didn't move, didn't breathe, and Cougar vaguely wondered if he was going to turn the gun on him. Finally, the tech lowered the gun, handing it to the Sniper but never taking his eyes off the injured man on the floor. "There isn't a place in Hell hot enough for you." He snarled before turned abruptly and walking out of the warehouse.

Cougar watched him go silently, a cold feeling clenching in his chest. He'd never seen that side of Jensen before, the cold-blooded side, and it was terrifying to be honest. "Your friend is fucking crazy, man! He's out of his goddamn mind! What the fuck-" Whatever else the man was going to say was cut off as Cougar deftly aimed the gun at his head and fired. There was a crack as the bullet connected with the floor and sickening splatter of brain and bone on the ground. It didn't matter; Cougar had pulled the trigger more out of disgust than mercy. He left the remains of the man on the ground and walked out to be with his team.

**OOOOO**

No one questioned what happened in the warehouse or why Cougar continued to watch Jensen out of the corner of his eyes as they drove away from the ware house. None of them said anything as he stared grimly out the window when Aisha and Pooch took the kids into the Police station and walked away without waiting to answer any questions the officers had for them. No one questioned when he slipped away from the group and vomited in the gutter when Clay gently gathered the little girl's body in his arms and took her into the ER even though there was nothing to be done. She was eight years old with dirty blond hair and green eyes; none of them knew her name and they never would but God did she look like Hannah. None of them said anything about it but they all knew.

Jensen was uncharacteristically silent for the rest of the day, burying himself in his computer for much of the afternoon and into the evening. He spoke when spoke to but that was about it. Clay didn't push him, neither did Aisha; they all had their own ways of coping with things like this so they left him be for the most part.

Around midnight, Jensen finally turned off his computer and pushed himself away from the desk, stumbling down the hall to the room he and the Sniper shared. Cougar was in the room already, hat pulled low over his eyes so it was nearly impossible to tell if he was sleeping or not in the dark. Jensen made his way over to his own bed silently, collapsing on the edge of it and staring off into nothing for a long time. The shadows grew long on the walls as the hours passed, stretching and contorting with the changing darkness. Jensen stayed still.

Unbeknownst to him, Cougar had been watching him from the minute he walked in until now. They all knew Jensen would bounce back as if nothing had ever happened but right now the pain was too raw and sharp to ignore. There was nothing he could say or do to make things better, it would a lie to tell him everything would be okay. He hated this feeling more than anything.

As terrifying as it had been to see the younger man lapse into trained-assassin mode, nothing hurt worse than to watch him break. It was roughly 3:30 when a hitched breath startled the Sniper from his silent vigil and made him sit up a bit straighter. In the darkness, he could see the faint outline of Jensen's shoulders trembling, his entire body rigid as he struggled to maintain his fragile grip on composure. His breathing was harsh and ragged in the darkness even though he was trying to be quiet and Cougar felt something inside of him clench. As quietly as he could, he slipped off the bed and walked over to Jensen's, sliding on the mattress beside him.

The tech jumped visibly, his eyes widening a bit. "Dude, I thought you were asleep…" He mumbled, his voice quavering a bit as he spoke.

"No." Cougar said simply, his dark eyes tracing over the tear tracks that streaked the younger man's face. He reached out, gently brushing away a tear, and Jensen recoiled a bit, giving him a watery, humorless laugh. "Sorry…this is so embarrassing…" He shook his head as if trying desperately to ward off the tears that were now spilling past his glasses and down his face. "I keep seeing her face…I keep seeing her fall…God…" He gasped, shaking his head again as another hitched breath caught in his throat.

"I know…" Cougar said softly, wrapping his arms around the younger man and offering what little comfort he could. Jensen was trembling in his arms, gripping the hem of his shirt absently like it was the only thing keeping him in the room. They stayed like that for a long time, neither one saying anything, until the first creepings of dawn began to appear in the sky. Cougar wasn't really sure when Jensen had fallen asleep in his arms or how long they'd stayed in the same position, but he didn't care. He simply shifted both of them onto the bed, keeping his arms around his friend's shoulders, and reclined against the headboard, closing his eyes and letting sleep claim him as well.

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**Okay, so I know the hospital and the Police would ask a ton of questions if they all just showed up with a bunch of kids but I figured, being the Losers, they could slip out pretty undetected if they wanted to. Just a thought =p Hope you all liked it! :D**


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